Well 2013, it’s been real. Here are some things you can just keep for yourself as we move into 2014. Prepare yourself for a touch of cynicism, and a little bit of “let’s be honest”.
1. The “I-Don’t-Need-No-Pants” Epidemic.
I mean seriously come on people. Put on some NORMAL pants if you’re gonna go outside.
2. The Over-Opinionated, Judgmental Blog posts that circulate Facebook for a month.
You all know the ones I’m talking about. (Oh, the irony 😉 ).
3. The Blatant Disregard for Taking Care of Your Body and Being Healthy.
Feel beautiful in your skin, wear what makes you comfortable (and covered), and enjoy your life. Don’t lock yourself into insane dieting systems, but please don’t just dismiss a healthy lifestyle. Eating right and being active mean more for your body than just how you look.
4. Phone Addiction.
Don’t answer a phone call during a meal with someone. Don’t look at your phone during a meal with someone. Don’t text at the movie theater. Don’t instagram while you’re laying in bed with your spouse. Don’t freak out when you can’t get service to post a video of yourself doing something. Just chill out. Remember the old days when we all had flip phones and were limited to 250 texts a month and life was so much simpler?
5. Dissing Your Family.
I don’t care who you are. But if you’re gonna hate on your mamma or dad, you deserve a spankin’. They brought you in to this world, fool! I’ve seen so many commercials and comics about parents losing relationships with their kids because their kids are too focused on their social lives and their technology. This one bounces off the Phone Addiction- but seriously. Just call your parents. Spend time with them. I’ve learned so much from my mom and dad, and my in-laws that I wouldn’t trade for anything. Especially the high score on Angry Birds, or catching up with the latest show. Give them time, give them devoted, 100% of your attention. They deserve it. Don’t wait until you’re 27 (like some stupid stat says) to “learn to appreciate” them.
6. Ridiculous DIY’s.
Check out Pinterest Are You Drunk? for a good solid laugh. Oh man. My favorite is sawing through a Grand Piano. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ONE!
7. Looking Up to Bad Role Models.
I’m not going in to detail here, but oh my goodness.
Please. Don’t put that much makeup on your face. PLEASE!!
9. The Bounty Paper Towel Commercials.
Okay, I’m not a parent yet, but I did nanny for almost 6 years for multiple families, so I know a little bit about discipline. And every time I watch these commercials, where kids just spill junk all over the place and then everyone has a good laugh.. I’m sorry, what?! I don’t think its a good idea for a 5 year old to use an egg beater, or a 4 year old to carry hot soup across the floor, whilst spilling it every step. Yes, let your children help out in the kitchen! But the OCD cleaner in me dies a little bit one of these kids continues to make a laughable mess. Please make it stop!
10. Hulu Plus Ads
Hey, Hulu. If you’re listening, I’d like to make a request. One- please stop taking down shows right when I’m in the middle of watching them. Figure out how to hold the rights for longer than 3 weeks. Some of us have lives and legitimately only watch one episode at a time, okay? And, while we’re at it. Why am I still seeing SO MANY ADS as a Hulu Plus member? I’m paying for you. Don’t show me commercials. Especially the same ones over and over and over and over again. That’d be so great if you could just get rid of those, Thanks.
11. Hatin’ on Marriage.
Look, please just keep your hating on my wonderful life choice to yourself. I don’t want to see you post “omggg like everyones engaged or married. wahhh its so stupid.” on your Facebook or Twitter. And these ridiculously stupid articles that have gone viral about things to do before or instead of getting married? Come on. Not cool. All the married people don’t walk around saying, “omggggg all these single people… ew. so annoying!” Maybe it’s because we’re happy and don’t need to put anyone down to make ourselves feel good. I don’t know. But why its suddenly become so popular to hate on? Lets just stop it, okay? We’re all adults here. If you’re not happy, find something that makes you happy! But don’t hate on anyone during that search process. And a side note, every adventure I’ve had has been that much better with my hubs by my side. 🙂
Hope you laughed. 🙂 Happy 2014!